Step aside, Sir Robin of Oxley. Make way for… Sir Matthew Stafford of Wembley? Don’t laugh — it’s not that far-fetched. After all, the veteran quarterback just broke an NFL record overseas by tossing five touchdown passes in a single game. And he did it without his top target, Puka Nacua. His performance impressed the British media so much that one reporter even proposed he be knighted for his excellence.

In a moment both hilarious and perfectly human, the 17-year veteran channeled his inner kid with a priceless reply — asking the one question anyone would wonder:

“Do I get a sword or something?”

Without missing a beat, or taking a moment to think twice, Stafford was all in. He looked ready not only to carve up the Jacksonville Jaguars’ defense but also to claim his imaginary royal honors after the win.

Not many NFL players manage to win over fans across the pond. Europe’s passion lies mainly with soccer — or football, as they call it — while American football is still a niche. But great performances transcend borders. Sports fans everywhere respect greatness, and throwing five touchdowns in one NFL outing certainly qualifies.

Matthew Stafford’s Week 7 Outing Earns Him Knightly Accolades Abroad

This matchup was one the Rams desperately needed to take. Heading into a Week 8 bye at 5-2 is far more favorable than sitting at 4-3. With top receiver Nacua unavailable, head coach Sean McVay once again put his trust in Stafford to lead the charge.

And the former Georgia Bulldog didn’t disappoint:

Just as America welcomed soccer legend Pelé when he joined its leagues, Stafford returned the gesture in kind — winning over foreign fans through brilliance on the field. His historic five-touchdown showing now stands as a shining example of the NFL’s international appeal.

The performance silenced any doubts about Stafford’s lingering back issues, but it left one final mystery in play: Did he ever get that sword?