5 creative ways to punish anti-BYU “(Bleep) the Mormons” chants
In order to change bigoted behavior, consequences beyond formal apologies are needed. Here are five imaginative ways to hold people accountable when they direct inappropriate chants at BYU athletes.
At the end of BYU’s impressive win at Arizona, an unfortunate scene played out where some members of the Arizona student section, the ZonaZoo, began chanting “(Bleep) the Mormons.” This has happened to BYU teams before (Providence, Oregon, USC) and will probably happen again.
In the aftermath of these incidents, the offending school offers a boilerplate apology which the BYU community tends to graciously accept. But if the goal is to change behavior, consequences beyond AI-generated public apologies are needed. With the goal of preventing these ugly occurrences in the future, here are five creative punishments for student sections who engage in bigoted chants:
Student sections sentenced to community service by helping with the next three elders’ quorum moves
On a near-weekly basis, somebody is either moving into or out of a local ward (congregation) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Men ages 18 and over are members of what is called an elders quorum and are regularly asked to help pack, load, and unload moving trucks as families come and go.
Two traits are particularly important for church movers: A strong back and the spatial awareness to excel at Tetris. Healthy spines are needed for heavy items like pianos and 1970s sofas. In addition to brute strength Tetris skills are invaluable in maximizing every available square inch in a U-Haul. College-aged kids have strong backs and are particularly good at app-based games like Tetris.
If students choose to chant, “(Bleep) the Mormons”, one consequence could be that every member of the student section needs to share their phone number with a local elders quorum president and answer the call for the next three upcoming moves.
No alcohol sales for the next five home games
Alcohol is often a catalyst for young students to do things that they wouldn’t normally do if they were sober, you know, like publicly engaging in religious bigotry. If alcohol contributes to fan behavior that is contrary to a school’s values, a logical punishment is to not serve alcohol at sporting events.
One of the defining practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that members observe the Word of Wisdom, which warns against the consumption of alcohol. This guideline comes from verse five of Doctrine and Covenants Section 89, and in honor of this verse no alcohol can be served for the next five home games.
This means not only the student section will be punished, but every person age 21 and over attending those games will be denied adult beverages. University administration will feel the pain of much lower concession sales while alums and boosters will probably go out of their way to share their candid thoughts with the student section preventing their access to libations.
School donates the value of student section ticket sales directly to BYU athletes
This could be called the “laughing all the way to the bank” rule: If a student section performs a bigoted chant, the value of all student section ticket sales for that game gets paid to the players on the opposing team.
Let’s examine what this would mean for BYU players being subject to the “(Bleep) the Mormons” chant at Arizona. There are approximately 2,290 seats in the ZonaZoo student section. According to Grok, ticket prices at the McKale Center average between $70-$90, so we’ll take an $80 per ticket average. This means ticket sales for the ZonaZoo is somewhere around $183,200.
BYU has 17 players listed on its basketball roster. If this rule were put in place, each member of BYU’s basketball team would get a check for about $10,775, paid to them directly by the offending student section. Seems fair.
Make the student section sing “Jesus Said Love Everyone” before their next rivalry game
Children in the Church’s Primary organization sing a simple, beautiful song called “Jesus Said Love Everyone”, often led by an earnest, dedicated music leader who makes the kids sound like angels. The entirety of the lyrics are simply this: “Jesus said love everyone. Treat them kindly, too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.”
When student sections chant “(Bleep) the Mormons”, one effective consequence could be to bring in a local Primary music leader who will teach the group to sing this song. Then, the offending student section will need to perform it before their next rivalry game, and do so to the Primary music leader’s satisfaction.
Using the Arizona example, the ZonaZoo would be require
