Kalani Sitake was “broken.” Then he discovered God’s divine plan for him.

BYU head football coach Kalani Sitake gave a devotional at the Marriott Center in Provo on Tuesday, March 11, 2025.

Tad Walch covers religion with a focus on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Kalani Sitake was in so much pain in the fourth grade that even meeting his heroes didn’t seem to help at first.

The Tongan boy loved growing up in Hawaii with his parents and siblings. He lived around BYU players who resembled him, spoke like him, and whom he admired, he said during a BYU campus devotional on Tuesday.

Then his parents divorced, and his father moved the children to Utah.

“I was broken and didn’t understand what was happening. I questioned everything and often blamed myself. I felt lost and desperate for answers that never came,” he said to the crowd of 7,968 at the Marriott Center, where he stood at a podium in front of three video boards showing the football field at LaVell Edwards Stadium.

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So when his heroes visited his school, Cascade Elementary School in nearby Orem, he was excited but still sad.

“At this time, the BYU football team was the only thing that brought joy in my young life. It was 1984, the undefeated national championship year. I felt like God answered my prayers every week for every game, so you’re welcome,” he said to laughter.

But Sitake said he sat to the side, watching the players talk and laugh with other kids.

“I had no confidence and a very low self-esteem. I was in a lot of pain. I missed my home. I missed Laie, Hawaii. I missed my friends. I missed my mom,” he said.

Finally, a player noticed him and gestured for him to join the group. Sitake shook his head, but the player did the unexpected. He approached the boy.

“I froze,” Sitake recalled. “This was a big-time player. In fact, he was my favorite player. I didn’t know what he wanted and thought, ‘Why is he coming to talk to me?’”

BYU head football coach Kalani Sitake gives a devotional at the Marriott Center in Provo on Tuesday, March 11, 2025. | Kristin Murphy, Deseret News

The player, who was also born in Tonga like Sitake, spoke to him for about a minute before giving him a hug.

“It was different than I’d ever felt. I felt warm and safe,” Sitake said, his voice emotional as he recalled the moment. “During the hug, he said, ‘Everything is gonna be fine. I love you, and God loves you.’ I’d heard those words probably a thousand times before, but this was the first time I actually believed them.

That hug fixed something broken inside me, and in that moment, I knew I was going to play football for BYU and be just like this player, Vai Sikahema. I wanted to be like him. My heart was filled with love and joy.”

Sitake told the BYU students that the message he would give his freshman self is that God has a plan for him and for everyone.

“It’s important to realize there’s a divine design for us,” he said.

Today, Sitake’s hero, Elder Vai Sikahema, a fellow Tongan and former NFL star and sports broadcaster, now serves as a General Authority Seventy for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sitake has shared this story before, but this was the first time he revealed the name of the hero who helped him.

“For Elder Sikahema it was a small gesture, but for me, it was a major milestone,” Sitake said.

Sitake then shared a second story of a time he felt broken and explained how Elder Sikahema’s example shaped him, both in word and deed.

His message was endorsed by BYU President Shane Reese, who told the assembly that the coach is “a man who lives what he says. He not only talks the talk, but walks the walk. He’s a true disciple of our Savior Jesus Christ.”

A promising NFL career

Sitake wore Elder Sikahema’s No. 23 as a BYU fullback in 1994. After an injury-plagued college career, he signed with the Cincinnati Bengals. Finally feeling healthy after three surgeries, he joyfully prayed the night before the team’s first full practice.

BYU fullback Kalani Sitake runs with Tulane’s Brett Timmons closing in on him during the Liberty Bowl on Dec. 31, 1998, in Memphis, Tenn. Sitake is now the head coach at his alma mater. | Chuck Wing, Deseret News

“I thanked God for His guidance and ended my prayer by saying, ‘Heavenly Father, I trust You and whatever is best for me, let it happen. I’m ready to do so much good with this gift and opportunity.”

The next morning, he woke up in pain. His lower back and legs felt as though they were asleep. He tried to push through the day, but the team noticed his discomfort. An MRI revealed permanent damage, and his playing career ended.